The Funeral

Story by Darimioo SJ 

(Kohima Region)

 

The boy remained quiet in a corner of the room without saying a word, while his face revealed nothing of what he thought and felt of his father who left him an orphan. A white cloth was covering the blind man’s face who seemed to be over-burdened with love for his only boy. Nobody seemed to bother about the lad who remained quiet in the corner - neither his uncle nor aunt, more so his mother who lived miles away with another husband.

People like swarms of flies flocked towards the dead man’s house, not to pay him respect, but out of curiosity to see how this poor man’s family would manage the whole affair. Scattered words of condolences, with the air of scorn in it, passed back and forth like dragonflies on a sunny day. “What will become of his boy without him?” “The cemetery is not meant for people like him,” “How will he find the way to heaven, when he couldn’t find the way to the church?” “It is impossible for us to help out in this; his marriage was not blessed, and besides, he never showed his face in the church.” “Let them find their own place”. “There is no reserved place for sinners in our cemetery.” All those who were present there used all kinds of language to demean the reputation of the dead man. They came just to gossip about him and nothing else.

After some time all the church elders jointly decided that the man should not be buried in their common cemetery. At the instigation of the church elders the whole village declared him to be a sinner, an outcast and an old wretch; since he was not a practicing Christian. They disowned the family as belonging to their church and told them to their face to stop involving in all the village activities. They were considered outcast and were restrained from the benefits the villagers were entitled to. After communicating this strong message to the bereaved family, people slowly left the place in two’s and three’s starting with the church elders till the bereaved family was literally left alone.

The deceased man’s family had prepared food for those who had come, as it was the custom of the place. But to their astonishment the whole crowd came just to abuse them. The family was stunned at the way their neighbours and the church treated them at this hour of grief. The boy, his uncle and aunt were at a loss and didn’t know what to do, and where to turn for help. They had no choice but to bury the man in their backyard. Now they found themselves in trouble. “Who would dig the grave for him?” questioned the boy’s aunt. “What else can we do?” rejoined her husband. “The boy is too small to hold a spade, and I am too sick to take the responsibility. Anyway I will spend whatever energy is left in me.” And so the real work began. The sick man worked so hard as if the sickness had gone out of him. He sweated so much that he was literally drenched from head to foot. He could not believe his eyes when after seven hours of hard labour the grave was ready. The boy too tried to give a hand in the work as much as he could. By the time he completed the work he was dead tired and could hardly stand. But it made him proud that he had done it in spite of his poor health.  With a deep sigh of relief and a smile on his face he whispered to himself,“ Hm…….thank God! We can now bury him with dignity.”

Now another problem stood in their way. Who would make the coffin for him, and from where to get the planks? They could turn nowhere. The whole village had deserted them and they couldn’t expect help from anyone. Finally, they decided to bury him without a coffin. It made them sad, but it was all they could do. The boy’s aunt was lamenting loudly declaring all that her brother had done for her. She felt sad that she couldn’t afford to bury him with dignity. She turned her face heavenward and cried aloud to God saying, “What have I done to deserve all this?” She sobbed for quite some time and cried again loudly, “All the friends and neighbours have deserted us. What sin have we committed?” In their own little way they said all the prayers for the dead, with the hope that their beloved father and brother would rest in peace. When everything was set they took the body, nicely adorned in the best attire they could afford, and laid him in the grave with just a mat over his body. When the prayers were said, a handful of mud was thrown three times over the body as a sign of bidding him farewell. It took quite some time for them to fill the grave. They had to do it quickly as the sky blackened and anytime rain was expected.  As soon as the grave was covered, flowers were set, and a cross was fixed over his tomb, the heavens opened and rain poured down as if to wash away the sins of the dead man.

People in the village were stunned at this, since normally it didn’t rain here during this season of the year. At this occurrence some people in the village said to one another, “He must have been a good man.” While some others came out of their house and joyfully shouted at one another, “God is giving us a sign that what we did was right, and He is approving our actions.” Consequently the church elders and the whole community rejoiced at their achievement and decided to continue the same action with anyone who took God and their church for granted. But to the bereaved family, the sudden and heavy downpour was a sign of God’s acceptance of their father and brother into his bosom. Only these soothing words escaped their lips, “God save his soul, God forgive us.”  They seemed to forget all the miseries they had just experienced. The wound of rejection that was so deep got closed with this assurance that God was pleased with them.

For the young boy the experience had affected him a great deal. He began to lose faith in people altogether. As he kept thinking of his father he began to lose his mind and would sit for hours together at his father’s grave in the backyard. It pained his aunt and uncle to see him like that. It reminded them of the funeral that brought their nephew this misery. They stopped associating with anyone and kept to themselves only in their garden. The boy became totally deranged, but his uncle and aunt faithfully looked after him like a son. They only said, “God gives what is best for us”, and complained no further. In spite of the painful experience they went through, God was still in their hearts though the church had closed itself to them.

Love and the Vows

Story by Donald Lyngdoh, SJ 
(Kohima Region)

The summer in Denia in the province of Alicante, Spain, was always calm and a lovely place to be in. It was here that the Jesuit Novitiate was located. From its building Flavius, a novice, laid his eyes at the beautiful stretch of the Balearic seas. Looking at the highs and lows of the tide, he was mentally associating them to the vowed life he was going to commit to. “Flavius, Father Master wants you,” said Paulo. Engrossed in deep thought, Flavius gave no reply. Paulo stood there unanswered. “What happened?” Paulo demanded. Venturing out of his thought Flavius replied, “I am not worthy enough, Paulo, for the vows. How unpredictable and unstable I am. I seek more human love and company than that of God’s. I ….” “That’s enough,” interrupted Paulo, “by putting yourself in such doubts you are putting me out of my surety too. It is neither our worth that causes our call nor our call that will cause our worthiness. It is our journey with Jesus that matters.” Hearing these words Flavius looked consoled and went to Fr. Master’s room.

            “I am sending Paulo and you to Evissa for a month mission experiment. You’d be leaving tomorrow by ship,” said Fr. Johannes, their Novice Master.  Flavius took this as a sign to silence his doubts and to journey with the Lord.

            The two boarded the ship early morning. It was a small ship carrying a few passengers. It was towards afternoon, the sea looked calm and so was Flavius. Flavius and Paulo were standing at the bow and began their conversation:

“Paulo, I am not sure if I am going ahead.”

“Why? You’re scared?”

“Kind of. I don’t know if I can be committed to the vows.”

“I can understand. I’ve been through times like yours. Sometimes I think that I could become a better father than a priest. But whether I choose to become a priest or a married man, there is a price included. I have to choose the one that carries more value.”

“I feel the same but still…. I know I am weak. I believe together with the commitment to the vows I will also receive the strength to live it.”

“Vows are not like a rope that ties you leaving you helpless, but one that helps you save people drowning in sin, that helps you climb the heights of holiness and pull others too with you. God won’t force you. He gives you full freedom to choose.”

“I don’t know Paulo. I feel words won’t do justice in expressing what I feel. Don’t you think that there is slavery in freedom and freedom even in slavery? ”

The two stood there conversing until night came upon them and the water was no longer calm but troubled by the wind. Suddenly they felt the heavy tossing that their ship suffered. They saw the mountainous waves rolling over their poor ship and shatter the masts. The lifeboat they had was too small to hold all the passengers. The only way to save themselves was to jump into the water, get hold of a broken plank and swim to safety. Unfortunately, there was no dry land nearby. Many lost their lives while trying to keep afloat.

            The next morning Flavius’ body was lying motionless on a shore of the Mallorca Island. Some inhabitants found him still alive. They surmised he was one of the survivors of the heavy storm of the previous night. They took him with them. He stayed in one of the houses of a very benevolent man. There he was nursed and cared for. The family found Flavius very amiable and slowly their acquaintances turned to family bonding. In that house, there was a girl of Flavius’ age named Nayisa. She was beautiful, the belle of the island and the enchantress of Flavius’ heart. Days and months passed. The two were so companionable that everyone expected their marriage.  Here Flavius was in a dilemma. No one knew who he was, so he could marry Nayisa and forget about his past. On the other hand, his conscience would not let him forget who he was. This thought always affected his tryst. He could no longer live with the secret.

            Under the light of the moon and by the fire, Nayisa and Flavius sat down. Flavius looked deep into the fire and began,

“Nayisa, I have a secret. It was buried before but not anymore now.”

There he poured out his life. He described to her how he had desired to become a priest, how he doubted his desire and how the fateful voyage brought him to the island where he found her and her love. Now he wanted to return.

With tears accompanying his words he confessed, “I know it will pain you and so will it be for me. Let the pain I give make you forget me and hate me. There your pain will cease and so too your love for me. ”

“Sh,” she hushed him while placing his head on her breast and kissed his forehead. “Speak no longer my love, speak no longer. I know it all. I had read it all.”

“Read it all?” he exclaimed in surprise. He then remembered that he had lost his journal. “Where is it?” he inquired.

 “When walking along the shore one evening, I found a bag containing some books. One of the books was titled ‘Me and My God’ with your name inscribed on it. I read it all.  There I saw your heart and all that it contained. Truly, I have loved you more from what I have read than from what I behold now and before.    I knew who you were and what you wanted to become, but still I could not withhold my love for you. The only favour I could render you was my denial of getting intimate with you. I had preserved myself for preservation of you. Now that you have decided to return, leaving you shall be my token of love for you.” Speaking thus, she left him there alone leaving her words behind with all the love and the pain they could convey.

***

            Flavius was at the port ready to board the ship that would sail back to his country. This was his last rendezvous with Nayisa.

“So you have to forget me now, Flavius?”

“My remembrance of you will not be a hindrance to me.”

“But will they accept you back?”

“I will tell the truth and leave them to decide.”

“Will we meet again?”

“If God permits.”

“Let me embrace you this one last time and then you may go in peace,” saying thus, Nayisa flung herself into his arms.

The horn announced the time for the ship to depart. The two departed with a painful pleasure. Nayisa’s eyes were still on the departed ship till darkness forced her to return home. Meanwhile Flavius, looking at the endless stretch of the sea said to himself, “I thank you, Lord, for everything that had happened. I may not know what a vowed life would be like, but now I know what love is and what commitment it demands.”